By Brett Kaufman. 8 years using relationships to build sales pipelines, from political fundraising to a 7 figure business to running matchmaking for two communities. Over 1,000 introductions facilitated.

To ask for a referral without it being awkward, ask right after you have given value, ask for something narrow, and make no easy to say. Name the kind of owner, the size and the region, say why you are asking this person, and hand them a short blurb they can forward as is.

That is how to ask for a referral from a broker, a CPA or a past seller. Awkward asks are almost always vague asks.

Here is the vague version. You meet a CPA at a local event, you get along, and at the end you say “if you ever hear of anyone looking to sell, send them my way.” She nods. She will never do it. Not because she does not like you. Because “anyone looking to sell” matches nobody in her head, and she has no idea what you would do with her client.

Here is the narrow version. Three weeks later, after a real coffee, you text her: “If a client with a commercial HVAC or plumbing business, $2M to $6M in revenue, ever mentions retiring, I would love to be the first call. No pressure either way.” Now when a client says the word retirement, she has a picture.

After over 1,000 introductions, my view is simple: the asks people act on are the ones that tell them exactly who to think of.

When is the right time to ask for a referral?

Right after a moment that proves you are worth referring. Asking with no shared history is what makes it awkward.

Source	Good moment to ask	Too early
Business broker	After you gave a fast yes or no on a file, or closed with them	The first call
CPA	After a real meeting where you learned how they work with clients	At a mixer you just met at
Estate or M&A attorney	After you brought them work, or worked well across a deal	Before they know how you treat sellers
Past seller	Three to six months after close, after good news about their team	The week of closing
Wealth manager	After you explained how you handle a seller’s timeline	Cold, by email
Peer buyer	After you passed them a deal that fit them better	Before you have given anything

The past seller row has its own playbook, including what to send them before you ask: when to ask a former owner for referrals.

How to ask for a referral: the five part ask

Every good ask has the same five parts, in this order. Keep the whole thing under 60 words.

1. The reason now. Tie it to something real: you just closed, you are starting a new search, they mentioned a client.
2. The narrow profile. Industry, revenue or EBITDA range, region. Narrow enough to picture one person.
3. Why them. One line on why you are asking this person, not a list.
4. The easy out. “No pressure either way” or “totally fine if nobody comes to mind.”
5. The forwardable blurb. Two or three sentences they can paste to their client without editing.

The blurb is the part most buyers skip, and it is the part that does the work. A CPA cannot send her client your text to her. She can send a clean blurb about you.

Templates for brokers, CPAs and past sellers

All illustrative. Swap in your own details.

Asking a business broker

Thanks again for the quick look at the Riverside file. If you hear from an owner in commercial services, $1M to $3M EBITDA, in the Southeast, I can give a clear yes or no within a week. Totally fine if nothing fits.

Brokers refer to buyers who make their lives easier, so the ask opens with speed.

Asking a CPA

Great coffee last week. If a client with an HVAC or plumbing business, $2M to $6M revenue, ever mentions retiring, I would love to be a first call, at their pace. Happy to send a short blurb you could forward. No pressure.

The CPA’s question is how you will treat her client. The words “at their pace” answer it.

Asking a past seller

Your old team just hit their best quarter yet. I wanted you to hear it. If you know any owners in the trade thinking about what is next, I would love your read on who, and I will treat them the way you were treated.

Open with their people. The referral is a second thought, and it should read like one.

Asking a peer buyer

Sent you the Tampa deal because it fits your size better than mine. If you see anything in specialty distribution under $2M EBITDA that is too small for you, I am a fast yes or no.

The forwardable blurb

Jordan Lee buys and runs commercial services businesses in the Southeast, usually $2M to $6M in revenue. He keeps the team and the name, and moves at the owner’s pace. Happy to connect you if you ever want to talk about what is next.

Third person, no hype, one line on how you treat sellers. Send it in the same message as the ask, or right after a yes.

What not to say

• “Send anyone my way.” Matches nobody.
• “I’ll make it worth your while.” Can put a CPA or attorney in a bad spot. Many work under rules on referral pay, covered in the referral partner network for acquisitions.
• A long email with your full thesis. They will read it once and forget it.
• Asking everyone the same day. Each ask should follow a moment with that person.
• Asking and then going silent. The ask works only if you stay in front of them after it.

What do you do after they say yes?

Stay recent, then thank them properly when something comes. A yes is a promise to think of you later, and later only works if you are still in their head when the owner calls.

Text them with a real reason every few weeks: they posted, their firm was in the news, you closed something, you have a client for them. When a referral does come, thank them the same day and tell them what it turned into, the way following up after being introduced lays out. Then log who sent it and what you owe back, as in the intro ledger.

If they said yes and nothing has come in a quarter, ask again, narrowly, tied to something new.

Why asks die after the first one

Most buyers ask well once, at an event or after a close. Then diligence starts, the next six months disappear, and the CPA who said “of course” has not heard from you since. When her client mentions retiring, she thinks of the buyer who texted last week.

The ask is not the hard part. The weeks after it are. That is the job of the super connector’s operating system: knowing who said yes, and giving you a real reason to stay in front of them.

The system that keeps you in front of the people who said yes

That is why I built FRONT OF MIND. It opens on your 10 minutes for today, and each person has a one line reason why today: they posted, their company was in the news, a follow up is due, or they are going cold. Every draft is a text style message, 40 words max. Nothing sends without your tap, and it learns from your edits.

Ask Liala out loud, “who do I know that is a CPA,” and get the right people with why. It runs in your phone browser, and you can save it to your home screen. Your contacts are encrypted. No one on our team looks at them. Export and delete anytime.

Start free with your first 25 contacts and see who comes up first.

See how it works