By Brett Kaufman. 8 years using relationships to build sales pipelines, from political fundraising to a 7 figure business to running matchmaking for two communities. Over 1,000 introductions facilitated.

To ask for an introduction to a business owner, pick the person the owner trusts most who can also vouch for you, then send one short ask: the kind of owner, why them, a small next step, and an easy no. Offer a blurb they can forward, so the owner says yes before anyone is connected.

That is how to ask for an introduction to a business owner without spending the connector’s credibility or your own. Here is where it usually goes wrong.

You are at a dinner. The CPA next to you mentions that two of her clients have started asking about succession. You light up and say, “If any of them ever want to talk, send them my way.” She smiles and says she will. She never does. Not because she does not like you. Because you gave her a vague job, with her client relationship on the line, and no way to do it in 30 seconds.

Why is an intro ask to an owner different from any other intro?

Because the person you are asking carries almost all the risk. The owner is their client, friend or customer, and a sale is one of the most private decisions that owner will make. If you push, the connector pays for it.

There are a lot of these conversations waiting to happen. In the Census Bureau’s 2019 Annual Business Survey, 51 percent of responding employer business owners were 55 or older. Many of them will talk to someone they trust about what comes next long before they talk to a broker. Your job is to be the person that trusted someone thinks is safe to introduce.

I have facilitated over 1,000 introductions, and when someone asks me for one, I am weighing one thing: will this make me look good or bad to the person on the other side? Every part of your ask should answer that question for the connector.

Who should you ask first?

Ask the person with the strongest tie to the owner who also knows you well. Recency matters as much as closeness. Use this table to decide what to do with each name before you send anything.

Your relationship with the connector	Their tie to the owner	What to do
Talked in the last 60 days	Close: CPA, lawyer, lender, longtime friend	Ask now
Talked in the last 60 days	Loose: met the owner once	Ask for a read on the owner, not an intro
Silent for 6 months or more	Close	Reconnect with a real reason first, ask in a later message
Silent for 6 months or more	Loose	Do not ask. Rebuild the relationship
You met once at an event	Any	Do not ask yet. Earn a second conversation

The silent row is the one people skip. A banker you have not texted since last spring who suddenly hears “can you introduce me to your client” reads it as a withdrawal from an account you never paid into. Reconnect first, then ask.

What should the ask say?

Five parts, in this order, and nothing else. Each part removes a reason for the connector to stall.

1. The kind of owner. Industry, rough size, region. “A commercial HVAC owner in the Southeast, roughly $2 to $5 million in revenue,” not “anyone thinking of selling.”
2. Why this connector. One line that shows you were listening. “You mentioned two clients asking about succession.”
3. What you do. One honest line. “I buy and run businesses like that for the long term.”
4. The small next step. A 20 minute conversation about how the owner built the company. No deck, no numbers, no pitch.
5. The easy no. “Totally fine if no one comes to mind or the timing is wrong.”

Then offer to do the work: “Happy to write a short note you can forward, so they can decide before you connect us.” That one line is what turns a polite maybe into an actual intro. It also makes the intro a double opt in, which protects the connector and the owner.

How to ask for an introduction to a business owner: the exact text

Here is the five part ask as a text. It is illustrative.

Thanks again for dinner. You mentioned two clients asking about succession. I buy and run HVAC businesses for the long term. If one would take a 20 minute call about how they built it, I would be grateful. Easy no if not.

Then, as a second message:

Happy to write a short note you can forward, so they can decide first.

What should you never say?

Most dead owner intros die from one of these.

• Never ask for a list. “Who are your clients thinking about selling?” asks the connector to break a confidence. Ask for a kind of owner and let them choose.
• Never mention price or multiples. Not to the connector, not in the forwardable note. The first owner conversation is about them.
• Never ask the connector to pitch you. They should introduce, not sell. You do the talking once both sides agree.
• Never ask about the same owner twice. If you got a no, log it with the date and move on.
• Never go around the connector. If you find the owner on your own later, tell the connector before you reach out.

What happens after they say yes?

Send the forwardable note within the hour, while the connector still remembers saying yes. Keep it short enough that they can forward it without editing: who you are in one line, why this owner, the small ask, an easy no.

When the owner agrees and the intro lands, reply within 24 hours, move the connector to bcc, and propose two times. Then tell the connector how it went, even if the owner is years from selling. That update is what earns the next intro. Most owners say not now, which is why the long game in the 18 month seller matters more than the first call.

What if they say no or go quiet?

Take a no gracefully and do not ask for the reason. If they go quiet, send one bump about a week later:

No pressure on the HVAC intro. If no one fits right now, all good, and thanks for thinking about it.

After that, treat silence as a no. (If you are the connector watching an intro stall, what to do when an intro you made goes nowhere is your side of it.) Keep the relationship warm with real reasons that have nothing to do with the ask: their firm in the news, a referral you can send them, a congratulations. The connector who said “not now” in March is often the one who texts you in September.

For the bigger picture of which people in your phone sit one step from owners, see how to find owner direct business deals in your network and the hub on deal flow for business buyers.

Why the ask is the easy part

Writing one good ask is not hard. Knowing who to ask, this week, is. The CPA who mentioned succession at dinner said it once, out loud, and it lives nowhere unless you write it down. The banker you should reconnect with before asking went silent six months ago and nothing told you. The owner who said “maybe in two years” needs a real touch every couple of months, and that date is in your head.

The system that remembers who to ask

That is why I built FRONT OF MIND. It opens on your 10 minutes for today, and each person has a one line reason why today: they posted, their company was in the news, a follow up is due, or they are going cold. Every draft is a text style message, 40 words max. Nothing sends without your tap, and it learns from your edits.

After the dinner, say a name and a sentence out loud, “CPA, two clients asking about succession,” and it is filed under the event. Later, ask Liala “who do I know that is a CPA in Atlanta” and get the right people with why. Intros to make this week show up with dated proof on both sides.

It runs in your phone browser, and you can save it to your home screen. Your contacts are encrypted. No one on our team looks at them. Export and delete anytime.

For the blurb your connector forwards, use this warm introduction request template. Once you are introduced, here is how to follow up after being introduced.

Start free with your first 25 contacts and 1 intro, and see who comes up first.

See how it works