How to Build a Relationship With a Podcast Host: 90 Days
How to build a relationship with a podcast host before you ever pitch: a 90 day comment plan, a table of comments that land, and the first message to send.
By Brett Kaufman. 8 years using relationships to build sales pipelines, from political fundraising to a 7 figure business to running matchmaking for two communities. Over 1,000 introductions facilitated.
How to build a relationship with a podcast host: comment specifically on what they post for six to eight weeks, give them something useful like a guest who is not you, and only then pitch. The host should know your name before your pitch lands. Commenting is the cheapest speaking strategy there is.
A host posts a clip from Tuesday’s episode. The guest says something about seller notes you disagree with, from experience. You think, I should say something. You do not, because you are on a call. By Friday the post has 40 comments, most of them “great episode.” Yours would have been the only one worth reading.
Three months later you send that host a cold pitch. It sits unread. Somebody who commented on that clip, with a real story, got the slot.
How do you build a relationship with a podcast host?
You build it in public first, then in private. Public means comments that prove you listened. Private means a message that gives before it asks. The pitch comes last, and by then it barely needs to sell.
I have not been on a podcast. What I know is the mechanic underneath it. In fundraising I raised $3M, and the edge was a manual system: after every conversation I wrote down what mattered to that person and used it the next time. Hosts are people with a short list in their head. You want to be on it before you ask.
What kind of comment gets a host’s attention?
A comment that names a specific moment and adds your own experience gets noticed. A comment that could be pasted under any post does not. Here is the ladder I would use, weakest to strongest.
| Comment type | Example (illustrative) | What the host learns |
|---|---|---|
| Praise | “Great episode!” | Nothing. Skip it. |
| Specific praise | “The part on earnouts at minute 34 was the clearest I have heard.” | You listened. |
| Experience | “We saw the same thing on a services deal. The seller cared more about the team than the multiple.” | You have been in the room. |
| Respectful disagreement | “I have seen the opposite with SBA deals under $3M. Lenders pushed back hard on seller notes.” | You have a view worth an episode. |
| A useful add | “The lender who explains this best is someone your listeners should hear. Happy to connect you.” | You are useful. This is the one they remember. |
Never pitch in a comment. Never tag yourself under a “we need a guest” post as your first contact. Everyone does that, and it is the weakest version of you.
How to build a relationship with a podcast host in 90 days
It looks like a few minutes a week on five hosts, with one clear ask at the end. Here is the timeline I would run.
- Week 1: Pick five hosts. Only shows where your story fits the last ten episodes. How this fits the rest of your stage work is in the speaking, podcasts and panels playbook.
- Weeks 1 to 2: Listen to two full episodes of each. Write down one moment from each that you have a real reaction to.
- Weeks 2 to 6: Comment twice a month per host. Experience or disagreement, never praise alone. Reply when they reply.
- Week 6 or so: Send a give message. A guest who fits their show, a resource, a listener reaction. No ask.
- Week 8 or later: Pitch one episode in four lines. Only if they have engaged back at least once.
- Weeks 8 to 12: Whatever they say, stay in the rhythm. A no today is often a yes when a guest cancels.
The give message, text length (illustrative):
“Loved your episode on lender appetite. I know a credit officer who has funded a lot of first time buyers and is great on mic. Want an intro? No pitch from me attached.”
The pitch, a few weeks later (illustrative):
“Glad the credit officer intro worked out. If you ever want the buyer side of that story, I closed on a 30 year old distributor with a seller note we almost could not get past. Easy to say no.”
What should you do once you are booked?
Treat the booking as the middle of the relationship, not the end. Keep the comment rhythm going before and after the episode, keep every promise you make off mic, and share the episode well the week it airs.
The after side is its own playbook. The month by month plan for a second episode is in how to get invited back on a podcast. If you are juggling several hosts, the podcast guest tracking spreadsheet gives you the columns: host, air date, open promise, next touch.
Why does this break down?
It breaks down because the host’s post and your free minute almost never happen at the same time. You see the clip on Tuesday mid call. You mean to comment. You remember on Saturday, when the post is buried and the moment is gone.
Five hosts sounds easy. Five hosts plus 800 other people in your phone, plus live deals, plus two events this month, is not. That is the real job: noticing the right post on the right day. More on why stages are filled from memory in how to get booked on podcasts and panels.
Let the host’s post find you
FRONT OF MIND opens on your 10 minutes for today. When a host you care about posts, they show up with one line saying why today, and a draft written like a text, 40 words max. Posts only show if they are confirmed to belong to that person, so you never react to the wrong host’s clip.
A guest intro you promised shows up when it is due. A host you have not touched since the episode aired shows up before they go cold. Nothing sends without your tap, and it learns from your edits so the drafts sound more like you.
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