Your Next Deal Is Sitting in Your Contact List
Proprietary deal flow rarely comes from a new list. It comes from the brokers, bankers and operators you already know. Here is the system that surfaces them before the deal goes to someone else.
By Brett Kaufman. 8 years using relationships to build sales pipelines, from political fundraising to a 7 figure business to running matchmaking for two communities. Over 1,000 introductions facilitated.
Your next deal is probably not on a marketplace. It is sitting in your contact list, attached to a broker you met two years ago, a banker who covered your last raise, or an operator who sold once and knows three more owners thinking about an exit. Proprietary deal flow is not about finding new people. It is about being the first name those people think of when an off market opportunity crosses their desk.
That happens every day, not once a year. On any given morning, someone in your contacts is sitting on something you could push forward or close: a broker with a new mandate, a banker who just changed firms, a founder starting to think about selling. Ten minutes is enough to find that person and send the note before someone else does.
The deal you never saw
You have lived this. A company you would have bought closes with someone else. You never saw the teaser. When you ask the intermediary, the answer is friendly and final: “It moved fast. I reached out to the people I’d been talking to.”
That is the whole game. Intermediaries run long cycles and short memories. When they get a mandate, especially one the seller wants handled quietly, they call a short list. That list is built from recency, not from your fund size or your track record. The buyer who sent a sharp note three weeks ago gets the call. The buyer who has been quiet for 90 days does not.
Nobody decided to cut you out. You went silent at the wrong time.
Why 90 days of silence costs you deals
Deal cycles are long. Searching, diligence, financing and integration can take most of a year. While you are heads down in one acquisition, every other relationship goes quiet. That is exactly when your next deal is being decided.
Here is the math I walk people through. It is illustrative, not a promise.
Say 40 people in your phone could plausibly send you an off market opportunity in a given year: brokers, bankers, M&A lawyers, CPAs, family office principals, operators who have sold. Say each of them sees one relevant deal a year. Stay top of mind with half of them and you hear about twenty deals before they go wide. Go silent with most of them during a long cycle and that number collapses, quietly, with no single moment you could point to.
The cost is invisible because the deals you lose to silence never show up in your pipeline. They simply never arrive. For the research on how relationships drive opportunities, see the networking statistics.
What staying top of mind with intermediaries looks like
Not a newsletter. Not a quarterly “checking in” blast. Intermediaries get dozens of those and delete them.
What works is short and specific. Here is what I tell people.
A reason tied to their world. They closed a deal, posted about a sector, moved firms, spoke on a panel. You noticed, and you say one specific thing about it.
One question they want to answer. Ask about the market they work in, the deal they just closed, what buyers are getting wrong this quarter. Intermediaries like being asked what they see.
A clear signal of what you are buying. Not a pitch deck. One line, once in a while, so they can match you to a mandate in their head.
Consistency over cleverness. Every few weeks, to the people who matter most, beats one perfect note a year.
None of this is hard. The hard part is doing it for 40 people while you are closing a deal. To work out the right gap for each relationship, use the follow up timing calculator.
The system that surfaces your next deal
The problem is not willpower. Your contact list cannot tell you who matters this week. It sorts alphabetically. Your next deal is filed under a name you will not think of until it is too late.
I have made over 1,000 introductions, and I did not do it by scrolling my contacts from A to Z. A system has to do the remembering. Here is how I would want one to run:
- Put the right people first. The intermediaries and operators who send opportunities go to the top. Your dentist does not.
- Watch for real, recent news. When a broker posts about a closed deal or a banker changes firms, that is your reason to reach out, and it expires in a couple of weeks.
- Draft the note for you. Short, specific, in your voice, referencing the actual news. You read it, change a word, and send.
- Flag the silence before it costs you. Anyone important drifting toward 90 days without a touch gets surfaced before they forget you.
That is why I built FRONT OF MIND. It opens on your 10 minutes for today. Each person on the list has one line saying why today: they posted, their company was in the news, a follow up is due, a pipeline deal has been quiet 7 days, or the relationship is going cold. Posts only show if they are confirmed to belong to that person, so you never congratulate the wrong guy.
Every draft is written like a text, 40 words max. Nothing sends without your tap, and it learns from your edits. Ask Liala out loud, “who do I know that is an M&A advisor,” and get the right people with why.
Introductions are deal flow too
The other half of proprietary deal flow is the introductions you make. The banker who needs a buyer for a carve out and the operator who just told you they want one: that connection makes you the person both of them remember.
This is the part of my work I know best. I run matchmaking for two communities, and the intro that lands is always the one with a real, current reason on both sides. FRONT OF MIND shows you intros to make this week, with dated proof on both sides, so you are not guessing from a conversation you half remember.
The forward test
Here is the bar I hold anything about deal sourcing to. If you are in the middle of an acquisition and you read it, would you forward it to your partner? If the honest answer is no, it is generic advice dressed up as strategy.
The question worth forwarding is simpler: how many of the people in your phone who could send you a deal have heard from you in the last 90 days?
Key Takeaways
- Proprietary deal flow comes from people you already know, mainly intermediaries and operators.
- Off market opportunities go to whoever the intermediary thought of most recently. Recency beats reputation.
- Long deal cycles create long silences, and 90 days of silence is when you lose deals you never see.
- Staying top of mind takes short, specific notes tied to real news, sent consistently.
- A deal sourcing system puts the right people first, watches for fresh news, drafts the note and flags silence before it costs you.
FAQ
Where does proprietary deal flow actually come from? Mostly from people who already know you: brokers, bankers, lawyers, CPAs, former owners and operators. An off market opportunity goes to whoever that person thinks of first when it lands on their desk. Proprietary deal flow is the result of being that person, consistently.
How often should I reach out to intermediaries during a long deal cycle? Often enough that you are never 90 days silent with anyone who could send you a deal. For most dealmakers that means a short, specific note every few weeks to the intermediaries who matter most, tied to something real that happened in their world.
Why do I lose off market deals to other buyers? Usually not on price. The intermediary had the deal, and the buyer who had been in touch recently was the one they called. Silence reads as “not active” even when you are.
What should a deal sourcing system do each day? Tell you which few people to contact today and why, give you a specific reason tied to their recent news, and draft the note so you can send it in seconds. Ten minutes a day is enough if the system does the remembering.
Your next deal already has your number. Make sure you are the one they call this week. Your contacts are encrypted, no one on our team looks at them, and you can export or delete anytime. Start free with your first 25 contacts and see who comes up first. See FRONT OF MIND in action