Checking In After Making an Introduction: 30 Day Texts
Checking in after making an introduction: why 30 days, the private texts that get an honest answer, what to do with each reply, and when to skip the check.
By Brett Kaufman. 8 years using relationships to build sales pipelines, from political fundraising to a 7 figure business to running matchmaking for two communities. Over 1,000 introductions facilitated.
When checking in after making an introduction, wait about 30 days, then text the person who asked for it privately with one question: did you two end up talking? Their answer tells you whether to nudge, celebrate, log a result or let it go, and the text itself is a real reason to be in touch.
Here is the scene. It is the end of October. In September you made a dozen intros: four at a mastermind, five on calls, three by group text after an event dinner. Every thread went quiet within a day. You muted most of them. Now you have twelve silent threads and no idea which ones turned into calls, which turned into deals, and which died on day two.
Silence after an intro looks the same whether it worked or not. The 30 day check in is how you tell them apart.
Why check in at 30 days?
Thirty days is the point where a good intro has had time to produce a call and a next step, and a bad one has clearly stalled. This is my working rhythm, not a rule anyone published.
Check sooner and you interrupt scheduling. Check much later and both people have half forgotten the intro, and forgotten that it came from you. I have facilitated over 1,000 introductions and I run matchmaking for two communities. The checks I skip are the intros I never learn from.
If the thread died on day one, do not wait a month. That is a stalled intro, and what to do when an intro you made goes nowhere covers the two week nudge. This page is for the intros that looked like they connected and then went out of view.
Checking in after making an introduction: five rules
Five rules cover it.
- Private, never in the group. A private text lets someone say “not a fit” without the other person watching.
- The side with more to gain first. Usually the person who asked. They answer faster and know more.
- One question. “Did you two end up talking?” Not a survey.
- About them, not you. “Hope it was useful” beats “let me know if anything comes of it.”
- An easy out. Make “it didn’t go anywhere” a comfortable answer, or you will not hear it.
What should the 30 day check in text say?
All illustrative. Each one is under 40 words and fits in one bubble.
To the person who asked for the intro.
Did you and Dana end up talking? Hope it was useful. Totally fine if it wasn’t the right fit, I’d just rather know so the next one is better.
To the other side, only if needed.
Quick one. Did Mike ever reach out? No need for details, just making sure I didn’t hand you a thread you didn’t want.
When you already heard it went well.
Heard you and Dana have been talking. Love that. Anything else you’re looking for right now? Happy to keep an eye out.
When you suspect a deal and do not want to pry.
No details needed, just glad you two connected. If it ever turns into something, I’d love to hear about it when you can share.
The third text is the one most connectors never send. When an intro worked, the check in is a chance to ask what they need next, which is how one good intro turns into the next three.
What do you do with each answer?
Sort the reply, take one move, and set the next check date. This is the table I would use.
| What they say | Your move | Next check |
|---|---|---|
| “Yes, great call, staying in touch” | Thank them, ask what they need next | 90 days |
| “We’re working together” | Congratulate, log it | 90 days |
| “Talking, can’t say more” | Log it, ask nothing else | 90 days |
| “We keep missing each other” | Name who sends times, offer to nudge | 2 weeks |
| “Not a fit” | Thank them, close it with the other side | None |
| No reply | Ask the other side once | 1 week, then close |
| “Oh, I forgot to reach out” | Ask if they still want it, check the other side still does | 1 week |
Close every loop you end. If one side says not a fit, tell the other side something short and true, like “timing isn’t right on their end,” without passing along the reason.
The 90 day row is where the value shows up. Most intros that turn into deals, hires or referrals do it months later, and the 30 day check is often the first time you learn something is in motion. The scoring and the longer check dates live in the intro ledger.
When should you skip the check in?
- They already told you. If the person who asked texted you after the call, the receiving side is doing their part, the way following up after being introduced describes. Do not ask again.
- The reason expired. The deal closed, the raise filled, the mandate went to someone else. Close it and log it.
- You already checked twice. A third nudge costs more than the intro was worth.
- It is sensitive right now. One side is mid diligence or in a hard personal stretch. Wait.
What 30 day check ins teach you
After a quarter of checks, patterns show. Maybe your lender intros connect nine times out of ten and your “you two should grab coffee” intros almost never do. Maybe one person you introduce often never books the call. That tells you which intros to make on purpose, and which to stop making. It also tells you which side to ask first, which is half of a good double opt in intro.
Why the 30 day check slips
The check is easy. Remembering it is the problem. Twelve intros in September means twelve check dates scattered across October, landing on travel weeks and closing weeks. The threads are muted. Nothing reminds you. So the checks never happen, and every intro, good or dead, stays a silent thread. That is one of the gaps the super connector’s operating system exists to close.
The system that brings the check in to you
That is part of why I built FRONT OF MIND. When an intro check is due, both people show up in your 10 minutes for today with a one line reason why today, like a follow up due on the intro you made at the September dinner. Each one comes with a drafted text style message, 40 words max. Nothing sends without your tap, and it learns from your edits.
Capture the intro the moment you make it. Say the two names and a sentence out loud, “Mike to Dana, QoE on the cleaning deal,” and it is filed under the event. Intros to make this week come with dated proof on both sides, so the next one starts with a reason that is current.
It runs in your phone browser, and you can save it to your home screen. Your contacts are encrypted. No one on our team looks at them. Export and delete anytime.
Start free with your first 25 contacts and 1 intro, and see which intro comes up first.